Breaking the Chains that Bind: Excerpt from the introduction

Breaking the Chains that Bind

Introduction: Victor OR Victim?

What is abuse?
Who are the victims?

There are many kinds of abuse and we’ll discuss each one. Some are obvious and we see it every day or at least hear about it on the eleven o’clock news. Others may be subtle. And some may even surprise you because you were always taught to accept them as normal. That is the core of all abuse - we are taught to accept it as normal. Those patterns are programmed into us and permeate every relationship we have our entire life.

We are so programmed to it that we deal with a judicial system that allows the worst abusers to go free and then we wonder why the victims are later dead or why a woman would kill her husband for no apparent reason. There is always a hue and cry raised at the time of these incidents. But that is all we see done - most of the time. Very little changes…the patterns repeat.

There are some beacons of light in this endless morass we call justice for all. Unfortunately, their has still been no light seen at the end of any tunnel. If a stranger were verbally, emotionally, or physically attacked someone would go to jail. However, we don’t give our victims, be they children, spouses, parents or significant others, the same freedom or protection under the law that was promised over two hundred years ago. One factor does remain equal, however. Abuse cuts across race, religion and socioeconomic status. It invades every level of our society. Do you just accept this or do you finally break the chains that bind…becoming a new you.

A victim can stop being a victim, or you can just exchange abusers or the abuse. Nothing changes unless you change. Each of us has the power within to regain and use our own personal power to be treated the way you deserve. It sounds easy…it’s not. It’s one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make in your life. The decision to regain control over YOUR life and find out who you really are is the most difficult road you will ever travel. You deserve a better life, but you must truly know you deserve it before you can find it. It is your choice - a VICTIM or a VICTOR.

I believe this book will start you on the road to the life you can have. The life you deserve. To help you begin to discover your own self-worth. But one book isn’t the answer. It is what YOU do with it. Only you can change your life. No one can rescue you - YOU MUST RESCUE YOURSELF. Others may help, but YOU must do the work.

Although I refer to women as the victims in this book, there are also men in the same situation. However, since the vast majority are women, I will use that convention.

Breaking the Chains that Bind: Victor or Victim?

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